is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
