If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
