You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
