I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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