i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
