I'm lost and stupid without you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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