...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
