I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
