can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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