yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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