Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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