the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
