okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
