I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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