shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
