Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
