This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize