do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
