so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
