i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
