I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
