i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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