I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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