What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
