I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
