I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Floor bacon is actually really good
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
