Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
