you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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