the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize