how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
