I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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