Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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