I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
