I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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