So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
