Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
