some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
