My nipple is on Facebook.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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