Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
