well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize