You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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