so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
