Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
