what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
