And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
