She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
