But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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