My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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