I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
