can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
