I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
