ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
