I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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