Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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