somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
