you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
