so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
