i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
