just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
