Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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