If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
