i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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